The Eight Ball -
by Kato
Summary: Vader finds a eightball. Dun dun dun. What will he do with it? (no sick stuff added. Notice the rating)


-Magic 8 Ball-  
  
Diclaimer: George Lucas owns all starwars characters. I am not harrasing him for any reason. I am not making any money out of his superior imaginitive characters. His work is HIS and I have no bussiness to take it as mine. And we all Love George Lucas as our super hero. The End.   
  
  
Summary: Vader finds a Magic Eightball..what will he do with it??  
  
  
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"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed the Rebel Soldier. "AAAHHH!!!" He screamed again.  
  
Lord Vader looked threatingly into the young soldiers eyes. "Now...you will tell me 'what' you have under your armpit" he hissed.  
  
The young soldier cowered. "Nothing..S-S-S-superStrawberry...I mean Lord Darth Vader Sir"  
  
Vader wacked his mask. "Ugh. Just call me Lord Vader." Vader patted the soldier on the shoulder. "You see? I'm just a NICE old man who want to be your friend."   
The Rebel Soldier fainted in horror of Vaders breath.   
Vader quickly takes out a cylyndrical shaped object from under his dark cloak and opens it.  
  
"Mentos...the savior of life and good breath." He says. He looks around and makes sure no ones looking and lifts up his mask. He plops a mentos in his mouth and pulls his helmet back down again.   
  
Vader turned back to the rebel soldier. He wacked the soldier in the face.  
  
The Soldier stirred. "Welcome..to dairy queen....how may I..take your order..? Would you like Fries with that watermellon...??"   
  
vader kicked the soldier and took a circular object from under the mans armpits.   
"Nasty" muttered Vader, as he smelled the sweat. Vader exaimed it quickly. It was a round black object shaped as a sphere. There was a little window shaped onto it.   
Vader took great interest in it. ON the window it said. 'try again'   
He dropped the ball. "What in the name of the Jedi does this thing do?"  
The ball did nothing but rolled to the window saying. 'Ask a question'  
He picked it up and asked a question. "Is the Emperor gay?"   
He shook the thing and a gray little thing showed. "Most likely"   
  
Vader smiled under his mask. He walked away from the rebel soldier al together and rounded a corner. The captain was staring into the stars on the bridge. Vader grinned and asked a questiong.   
"Should I scare his poor soul??" He asked mischieviously.  
The ball vibrated insanly. "YES" it said.  
  
Vader quietly strided up behind the Captain Opasa. He stood right behind him.   
"I Know who you areeeee" hissed Vader, his warm breath touched the captains neck.  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE HOLY BUTTS!!!" The Captain jumped a meter into the air and screamed like a girl. He looked at Lord vader in total fear.   
"Y-Y-Es sir. Sorry sir" replies Opasa.  
  
Vader walked away holding a laugh. When he rounded the corner he started laughing like a mad man, holding his stomach because of the pain of laughing.   
  
Meanwhile, a group of very CONFUSED Stormtroopers stared at the big black armored man, known as Darth Vader laughing insanly at a wall.   
The stormtroopers scratched thier heads.  
Number IM-N8KED turned to the leader. "Look sir.. a droid."  
The leader looked around confused. "What are you doing? WE MUST SPEAK TO OUR LORRD!!" Ten squadrons of stormtroopers walked up to darth Vader and surrounded him.   
Vader turned to the stormtroopers. Before he could answer-  
  
"WE LOVE YOU MRS. LORD DARTH VADER!" said all stormtroopers in chorus.   
They all dropped to thier knees. "WE ARE THE STORMTROOPERS! WE ARE YOUR MOTHER!!!"   
  
Vader shivered. He skipped over them and walked down the hall. He looked for his treasure. "Dam wheres that eightball"   
He stopped and searched his body. "AH! I can't find the blasted thing!!"   
The EightBall was nowhere to be found.   
Suddenly he heard a lard clanking of metal running.   
  
He turned. A whole army of stormtroopers was running towards him with open arms. "WE WANT A HUG SANTA VADER!"   
Vader's mouth dropped open. "oh curse my lack of disturbance in the force!" He started running away.   
He ran into a meeting room, where all the high ranking Grand Moffs were holding a very important meeting.   
"Greetings Lord Vader. We were just talking about the lack of intelligence stormtroopers have"   
Vader sat down in a chair. "Ow Hell, kill them all" He stated.  
Grand Moff tarkin puased. "Did you know, we have a new thing that the Empire loves?"   
vader sighed. "What?"  
  
"BARNEY!" All the GrandMoffs chimed all together.  
  
Vader made a very distorted expression on his face and yelled. ""NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"   
  
The GrandMoffs made a huge holo gram of Barney singing right in the middle of the room. "I love you you love mee..." Barney started singing.   
"C/mon kids, sing along!" said the purple bantha.  
  
"I LOVE YOU YOU LOVE MEE WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY! WITH A GREAT BIG BALL AND A EXPLOSION FROM ME TO YOU! WOn'T YOU SAY WE FART...I DO..."   
everyone sang.   
Vader fell back from his chair in fear. "What the heck is going on herererer??" He asked.  
  
"- Vader..Vader..Lord Vader!" He heard.  
  
He suddenly woke up. "NO!!"  
The gray eyes of Grand Moff Tarkin stared into his face.  
"What? Don't you like my idea of a battle staion?"  
Vader sighed in relief. "Good. Comence operation when ready."  
He stood up and left the room.  
'Good. it was only a dream' He thought. Vader's foot tripped over something.  
"Wha?" He started. He looked under his foot, a round black object with a little window interested him.  
"It was a dream...or was it?" Vader stated out-loud. He shook it and asked a question. "was that a dream?"  
  
The answer.   
  
"You'll Never Know"   
  
  
THE END...or is it?  
  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _   
  
Authors Note: Geez. I'm not in my insane mood right now. Oh well thats okay. I should attempt a serious story. But It always ends up crazy like last time a iwrote a story. The refriderator blew up and the grand moffs stared farting and the Jedi were jumping off clifss. Ugh. It goes insane.   
  
THE END OR IT IT DUN DUN DUN!!!  
  
  



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